The Hott Remy?
by THE LIE
Summary: This is liek the movie The Hott Chic. Should be errr slightly funny.
1. Default Chapter

Okay  I'm working on  a different story to but I thought of this so I wanted to get it out. and if it sucks then I wont write anymore cus this is my attempt at a humor story so yeah **I do not own The Hot Chic or anything to do with that movie.  I also do not own X-Men Evo/Marvel or anything to do with it but I do own Lillith, Jen and Jake cus they are my characters that I made up.**

Those damn Telepathically conversations.  although there might not be any

*Wonderful thoughts* which wont be in peoples accent

"Don't know so sad"

_Sexy foreign languages_

Oh by the way this wont go exactly by The Hot Chic it will have some things like that movie and some things not at all okay okay.

**Chapter 1: The Psycho's, The Devil, The Switch**

A man was sitting on the Bayville High School rooftop.  He was a very muscular man.  He has muscular arms, and legs.  You knew he had a six-pack underneath his baggy gray t-shirt just by the way he looked.  His shirt had an I next to a heart next to a 2 next to a screw, so it pretty much said I love to screw.  He was also wearing baggy jean shorts.   He had really, dark brown hair it looked black.  It was curly and went just above his shoulders, but now he had it in a ponytail.  He also had very beautiful blue eyes.  He was a very hot guy, very sexy; he was well just damn fine looking.  He was sitting next to a very hot girl she has dark auburn hair; it was layered and framed around the face.  She has one blue eye and one green eye.  This made her even hotter then she already was.  She was wearing dark blue jeans and a tight read shirt that said player in white 

"Lillith my dear, who should I switch bodies today?"  The man asked the girl.

"Your mutation is lame all you can do is change peoples bodies."  Lillith said annoyed.

"Hey shut up you don't even have one."  He said very pissed off.  She didn't know that he had other mutations.  However, that is a different story.

"Jake your such a jerk!  Don't make fun of me cus I'm not special like you."  Lillith said while starting to cry.

"I'm sorry honey, you know I love you please don't cry."  Jake said apologizing.

"Oh snookums I love you too."  She said with a smile *I have that boy whipped.*

"So who should we toy with next?"

"Oh switch Rogue and Remy's bodies we haven't yet done any fellow mutants."  Lillith said with a smile on her face.

"God why them?  You like those two mutants way to much."

"So what I'm obsessed with the X-Men's life I know everything…. well not everything but there life is like my own personal TV show, literally."

"Ahhhh" Jake screamed.  "Your soo stupid you obsess way to much.  And besides maybe I don't like the whole Rogue and Remy idea."

"Call them Romy."

"Romy."  Jake said with an annoying voice.  "Maybe I like Jean and Scott..,,or should I say Jett."

"Ewww you got to be kidding me.  Jett is lame they suck.  Rogue is the best mutant there ever is, and ever will be.  And Romy is sooo cute.  Besides if you do what I ask we'll use those fuzzy pink handcuffs tonight."  Lillith said trying to be seductive.

Jakes eyes perked up at this.  "Alright you win."

"Yes I always win."  Lillith said standing up and doing a victory dance.

Jake looked up at her.  "But only on one condition."  He told her while standing up.

"What?"  she asked.

"No digging your claws in my back and" he whispered something in her ear.

She giggled "Oh okay will do."

~~~~

In Kitty and Rogue's room, Kitty was laying on her bed reading a magazine while Rogue was standing and yelling.

"Gawd Kitty Ah hate that damn Cajun.  Why dose he have to go to are school anyways?" 

"You like don't hate him you like, like him."  Kitty said looking up from her magazine

"Ah do not."

"Okay like whatever."

"Ahh" Rogue screamed irritated.

"I like think he likes you.  I mean he flirts with you all the time."

"Your stupid he flirts with everyone."

"He like flirts with you every time he like sees you, and he ignores all the other girls.  And when he is like flirting with a girl, and then sees you he'll like so blow them of just to flirt with you."

"It's cus Ahm one of his challenges."

"Alright, well I'm going to go to bed, and I still think he like likes you."

"Whatever."  Rogue slipped into her bed *why do I like that annoying Swamp Rat.  He is going to drive me crazy I know it.   Why dose he have to be soooooo sexy?*  Rogue thought of that damn Cajun as she fell into a deep sleep.

~~~~

"Hey Remy you got home late.  What were you doing all night."  Pyro also know as John asked very interested.

Remy smirked  "Remy be pleasing the _femmes._ Of course"

"Ooooo what happened?"  John asked.

"Nothing that Remy wants to share."

"Pleas I've been trying to get that damn Kitty Kat that I can't get.  So I need to know that the one and true ladies man is getting some.  Just so I know the world hasn't gone crazy."

"Sorry _mon ami_" Remy said going into his room.

"Please Remy I need to know.  I haven't gotten any in a long ass time, unless I want to get with the sheila's that I do not like at all."  John said making an ""ew"" face.  

"Leave John."  Remy said pushing him out of his room.

"Hey why.." John was cut off as the door slammed in his face.

Remy could hear him yell.  *Door must have slammed him in the face.*  The thing was that Remy was out with Rogue… well not out with her more like teasing her.  He loved to tease her it made her so angry.  *Just another one of my challenges.*   yet Remy felt something for her but he ignore it.  *God she's sooo hot, I just love that whole Goth look.*  Remy slipped out of his clothes, revealing his slim yet muscular arms, legs, and his yummy six-pack (A/N *drools*  hahah I'm stupid.)  He was only wearing his Pokemon boxers now.  He loved Pokemon.  His favorite Pokemon was Pikachu.  His boxers had that Pokemon all over them.  He slipped in his bed, and watched an episode of Pokemon that he had recorded earlier that day.  He then fell to a deep sleep.

~~~~

"Okay darling its time to do your work, they are a sleep now."  Lillith said to Jake as he walked into her living room and sat on her couch.

"Wow I've never been to your house before, you sure do have a lot of huge TV's."  Jake said.

"Yeah its so I can monitor all of the X-Men, Acolytes, and Brother Hood members."  She said smiling.

"What how the hell do you have all of that, and don't they notice."

"No they don't?"

"But how?"  Jake asked.

"Great now to explain my whole damn story.  You see I made a pack with the devil.  I'm not from this dimension, I'm from a different one where this is all just a cartoon show, where mutants are not real.  And well I wanted to live in this dimension so I made a pack with the devil.  The devil wanted my best friend, because she was a very cruel evil little bitch.  So he thought it would be fun to have her around.  So I killed her which sent her straight to hell, and in return I got to live hear with all this monitoring crap, and he made me really, really smart, like a computer."  Jake gave her a weird look.  "I don't know I'm just really smart.  Anyways he made me smart, so I can take all this information at once and understand it.  He was supposed to make me a mutant but noooo he has to be an evil bitch."  Lillith said pissed.

"Well isn't being really, really smart a mutation?"  Jake asked confused.  "And I can't believe you killed your friend" Jake said surprised.

"No you idiot I wanted to have powers like Rogue, or Jean, or Kitty or something.  I wanted the power of the elements.  It would have been sooo cool."  Lillith said with a glimmer in her eye.  "Oh and my friend wanted to be sent to the devil so its all good."

"Uhmm okay" Jake said thinking she was somewhat crazy.

"God I knew you'd think I'm crazy.  I should have never told you."  Lillith said as she turned and looked away form him.

"No, GOD.  You and your damn mood swings, I'm going to go and do my job." 

"Fine you go do that then." Jake got up and went out side.

He returned shortly afterwards "Okay its done."

"Good I invited the devil to show you that I'm not crazy."

"What?"

"Hello there Jake."  The devil said he looked like a regular guy, actually he looked just like Collin Farrell.  The only thing that wasn't normal about him was that he had blood red horns.  He was wearing a baggy black shirt that had a skull with knifes through it.  At the end of the two blades was fire.  He was also wearing black leather pants.

Jake jumped back "Who are you?"

"God he really is a stupid one" the devil said while Lillith nodded.  "I'm the all mighty devil."

"Yeah right, and I'm a monkeys uncle."

"Actully your are."  The Devil said.

"I think you should prove it Devy."  The girl spoke up that was standing by The Devil, which no one noticed.  She was wearing a blood red dress, had black hair, green eyes, and flushed skin.  She was quite beautiful.

"And who are you?"  Jake asked.

"I'm Jen, Lillith's best friend she actually did me a favor.  Its great to be the devil's wife, I couldn't be happier."  Jen said smiling.

"Oookay."

"See my hand fire."  The devil said as fire came from his hand.

"If you're the devil then why don't you look it?"

"God just because I don't have a tail, a pitch fork, and is red doesn't mean I'm not the devil."

"Lets go Devy I'm bored."  Jen said begging.

"Sorry Lillith if he doesn't believe you its not my fault"

"See you tomorrow Lillith."  Jen said smiling.

"Yeah bye."  Lillith said pouting.  The Devil, and Jen then disappeared into a flame of fire.  "You'll never believe me."  Lillith said still pouting.

"Honey I do believe you, and I always knew Collin Farrell was The Devil." Jake said wanting to end there argument.

"You do!"  Lillith said all happy, ignoring his saying about Collin Farrell.  "Oh honey I love you I'm sorry."

"Yeah I'm sorry too I love you, now honey you promised."  Jake said smiling.

"I did didn't I?"  Lillith responded smiling back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(A/N from now on when I say Rogue imagine her in Remy's body, and when I say Remy imagine him in Rogue's body ight.)

Rogue woke up with a yawn she had a habit of waking up an hour before the alarm clock.  She walked into her and Kitty's personal bathroom.  She grabbed her hairbrush and started to brush her hair.  She realized that her hair was short.  She looked in the mirror and saw not her face but Remy's face.  Her eyes widened with surprise, she looked down at where her boobs were suppose to be and didn't see them, she grabbed her chest "Ahhh" Rogue screamed.   Her screamed woke up Kitty.

"Like Rogue why did Ahhh" Kitty screamed.  Rogue turned around to face Kitty and screamed.  "I like, like always knew you were a drag queen Remy, but what did you do with Rogue."  Kitty said frightened.  She thought he was going to kill her.

"Kitty its mah Rogue."  Rogue said with a whinny voice.  Rogue then went up to her friend.

"Ahh don't touch me, I'm like going to get the others."  Kitty said then phased through the walls.

"Oh shit no one will believe me lookin like this.  Ah got to get out of here."  Rogue said running out on to the balcony and then jumping off running to who knows where.

~~~~

Remy woke up from his nice sleep he walked to the bathroom and he had an itch ""down there"" he itched himself and screamed.  "Oh my god Remy didn't think shed actually come and chop them off."  He ran to the bathroom, and noticed a half naked Rogue in the mirror.  He had an odd expression on his face, but then realized it was him.  "Holy shit how the hell did Remy get into her body."  He wrapped his arms around him feeling exposed.  He put on his regular clothes.  *I have to say she dose have a nice rack.*  (yes Remy did see the whole show that wasn't covered by the boxers) 

"What the fuck is your problem Remy, screaming like that."  John came in wiping his eyes.

Remy quickly jumped out of his window and ran to who knows where.  He couldn't let John see him like this.

"Remy? Remy?"  John said looking around not seeing Remy.  "Oh fuck it" John then went to his room and went back to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hahahahaha I hope that story is funny and if its not then well good-bye story is all I have to say tear I know.  But yeah R&R and try not to be to cruel I mean it was my first try oh and special thanks to my friends who inspired me in little ways to make this story.  Oh and sorry if any ones OOC just the way the story goes.  Oh and I had to introduce my characters in this story so that is y there's a lot of them.   But next chapter will be mainly about Rogue and Remy.  And uhm I know there's more but I can't think so yeah bye bye. : )


	2. LESBIAN SEX!

OMG I am actuly updateing this story!! Been a while eh? Hahaha. Well to those who like it if you want more REVIEW! ::snickers:: it will probably take a while sorry this took forever! **IMPORTANT!! This really wont be 100% like the hot chic lol srry**

Sadly I do not own X-Men Evo/Marvel. I also do not own The Hot Chic

**Chapter 2: LESBIAN SEX!**

* * *

Jake was sitting on the black couch, watching the two mutants which were Rogue and Remy run in the middle of the forest. How Lillith got floating cameras to follow them he had no clue. But this was so very entertaining. Jake laughed as he watched the scared mutants run.

"Oh god Lillith you got to get out here and watch this." Jake yelled to Lillith.

"Oh don't worry I wouldn't miss it for the world just hold on a sec." Lillith yelled back.

Jake shrugged and a couple of seconds later Lillith came out. Jake looked at her and screamed.

"What the hell did you do to your hair this time??"

Lilltih shrugged. "I dyed it silly don't ya like it."

Jake looked at Lilltih her hair was now a platinum blonde. "Oh god I liked your hair when it was a light brown, Dark auburn was okay but now this..you look like a preppy cheerleader."

"Ooo a cheerleader." Lillith ran out of the room.

"Oh shizal what did I do this time." Jake said as he threw his hands up in the air.

A couple of seconds later Lillith came out, she was holding two red, and yellow pam pams, and wearing a Bayvile Cheerleader out fit. "Go Team!" She shouted as she did a toe touch.

Jake rolled his eyes, and watched the screen. "I don't like preppy cheerleaders."

"And I don't give a." Lillith said as she sat down on the couch watching the screen as well.

.

.

Rogue was running in Remy's body. She was running, in a forest, she had no clue where she was going, she was just scared that she was running. She felt as if someone was following her, she turned around still running, and saw nothing. When she ran smack dap into somebody.

"Ah'm sorry ah didn't mean tah…hello?" Rogue stood over a man who was some how unconscious. Rogue poked him but he didn't respond.

Rogue looked at her outfit, if she was going to look like a guy, none the less Remy she might as well change. So she undressed the man and took his clothes. She was walking not really paying attention when she ended up being in front of Bayville High. "Oh gawd Ah need tah talk tah Kitty." She looked at the big clock on the school building; they had installed it just a week ago. It was almost time for break. Kitty could miss third period. Rogue walked to a pay phone and called Kitty's pager. She left a message that would come out in words. So there was no reason for Kitty not to show up.

.

.

Remy was walking in the forest when he saw a unconscious naked dude. He looked at him sucpiously and realized that he was now in Rogue's body. Did that mean he had her powers? He bent down and touched the mans cheek, nothing happened.

.

.

"WHAT?!" Lillith yelled. "How does he not have her powers?"

"Well Barbie, I can make mutants powers not work as well. I can't do it forever but like two weeks, and then I can't do it for months!" Jake replied.

.

.

Remy grinned. "SCORE! Now I can find hot chics t' make out with. Dress sluty and all that good jazz." Remy skipped off to go find some hot chics. "Oh Lesbian sex here I come!"

* * *

A/N: And that's where I'm ending it. I'll write more errrrr later. Thanks for the comments dears! I love you all!


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